Shadow Cabinet passes the 10,000 mark
- Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
- 18 minutes ago
- 1 min read
In a break from tradition His Majesty’s loyal Opposition now has 3,210 Chancellors of the Exchequer, 2,348 Home Secretaries and more than 1,000 Education Ministers. The move comes after Reform, on 1.2% of MPs, decided to create their own Shadow Cabinet out of mechanically recovered meat products such as Robert Jenrick.
Stacey Williams is a hairdresser from Swindon, and also one of 934 Shadow Secretaries of State for Culture, Media and Sport. ‘It just seemed like a laugh. I know I’m not an MP, but neither is Zia Yusuf, so . . . . why not me?’
Ordinary people have become shadow ministers by, erm, well, just deciding, really. Rather like Reform. ‘If you wish for something, close your eyes and really, really, wish . . . . maybe that wish will come true’ said Stacey. ‘Just don’t wish for anything real, like money or a better job. Imaginary stuff like being the Shadow Minister for Whatever, that should be fine’.
Not everybody can be a shadow minister. There are some standards. Lee Anderson, once a senior figure in Reform, now has the job of taking everybody’s coffee and sandwich order. If he does well there’s talk of getting him a uniform, and maybe a bike with one of those insulated bags. If Reform manage to bag another hundred ex-Tories he might have to go back down’t’pit.
We can’t wait.