"Shambling incompetence is the new normal" announces Downing Street
Updated: Dec 19, 2021
A Government spokesman has reiterated that Boris Johnson is well and working normally and the public had better "get used to car impressions, Peppa Pig stories and long periods of near silence with muttered swearing."
With a wistful mood, the spokesman continued; "I can remember going into country pubs in the 1970s and there was often a semi-coherent bleary-eyed bloke sitting in the corner talking about French seagulls or something, so it's quite nostalgic for someone like that to be prime-minister."
"I know it would be more reassuring if the Prime Minister was bravely battling a bad cold to give a speech, but he's actually fine and this is what he does now."
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