Global oil firms have urged consumers to focus on the massive 0.1p that they save on every single litre of petrol they buy at forecourts, rather than the eye wateringly high price of fuel at the pumps..
'For decades, knocking a fractional amount of a penny off the retail price of petrol has been part of our strategy to give something back to hard-pressed customers', said Dave Stetson, a spokesperson for the Petrol Companies Association 'Oil be There for You'. 'It's definitely not a marketing ploy to fool people into thinking the price is a penny less than it actually is. No, no-one would be taken in by that, surely?'.
'Prices at the pumps reflect all sorts of factors and they can go up and down...well ok, they don't actually ever go down, but you know what I mean', continued Stetson.
'With prices likely to hit £1.90 per litre next week, we would really ask petrol customers to consider that actually 189.7p per litre is actually a pretty damn good deal, rather than crying as the pump shows incredulously, it is costing £85 to fill up their small Nissan Micra', continued Stetson.
'Us Big Oil companies are also feeling the squeeze', noted Stetson. 'Just last week, my own company GuzzleOil reported annual profits of £7bn, oops sorry I mean £6.997 billion.'