Sue Gray has announced that her report is into lockdown parties at 10 Downing Street is going to be considerably shorter than expected, as she has decided just to report the times where there was no piss ups.
'Looks it is going to be a lot easier doing it this way, isn't it?' said Gray . 'We can focus on the exceptions rather than the general rule. The times when the PM was seemingly sat at his desk, getting on with the job in hand and sticking to lockdown laws. It'll save me loads of time, and the taxpayer millions in paper costs'.
The single page report, scheduled to be published later this week is thought to be titled '18th November, 11am- 12 noon', although Gray admitted that this may still change, if new evidence comes to light.