Following concerns that children's attention span since Covid is shorter than ever, the government has asked teachers to measure it.
Teachers are of the opinion it should be measured in Thick Planck Time, but the government believes zeptoseconds will be adequate as the Tory party doesn't have a donor that flogs equipment that measures Thick Planck Time. A pub landlord however, reckons he knows someone who talked to him about zeptoseconds and would be able to supply every primary school with zeptosecond chronometers.
One zeptosecond is 0.000 000 000 000 000 000 001 seconds. The chronometers do not work and the money is long gone.