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The new CFO of Yew Kay limited claims paying directors 150% of earnings 'not a gamble'

The multi-disciplined manufacturing, financial services, defence, care sector, service behemoth Yew Kay Limited that was subjected to a complete top end management change last month without submitting the changes to the shareholders for approval, has drawn up a new roadmap for the company.

Kwasi Modo, the new CFO who was promoted from being a bag man in the temporary department titled 'exiting the competitive workspace', with a brief period as tea boy in the accounts department and a stint as a stuntman in Halifax adverts, has offered a new direction for the financial direction of the company. 'Making money is what we should be doing, so I'm going to give the directors a shed load of cash and that should do it,' he said today, while viewing a Maserati showroom.

His new plan is to make being a senior director so lucrative no director will want to leave it; one or two might do some work as well.

'We're not bothering with company accounts this year,' Mr Modo said today. 'In fact, I've just sacked the accountant, all he did was whinge and mutter something about the law'. New CEO, Liv Truffle, is cock-a-hoop about the new strategy. 'As long as everybody uses the company shop the benefits should trickle down to the workers at some point,' she said. Mr Modo asked if he was expected to use the company shop and was relieved to hear that part didn't apply to him or the CEO.


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