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Trousers that are too short to be made compulsory

The Minister for Bad Taste today expanded on Rishi Sunak’s penchant for wearing expensive suits that are two inches too short, by announcing that all clothes will now be made two sizes too small:

‘As part of Government efforts to address the cost-of-living crisis, we are going to ensure that everyone wear clothes that are too small or too short - to save material and cut costs. After all, if we all now wear tiny crop tops and Wham! shorts we can save a fortune in production costs.’

Some cynics have suggested that if the public are all wearing clothes that are too short, the PM won’t stand out as such a gormless dork, which can only help the Government’s dire polling numbers.

When asked what this might mean in the cold winter months, the Minister laughed manically and replied:

‘Oh, we have already thought of that – when it is cold, the public can just burn their summer clothes to stay warm. Or they can huddle close to the rivers, where the steam from millions of gallons of fresh effluent will keep them toasty in even the coldest months.’

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