Trump ready to cede part or all of Alaska

President Trump has outlined his negotiating strategy for the upcoming summit between his ego and President Putin's.  He feels he has shown willing by negotiating on neutral ground (Alaska) and is ready and willing to hand over parts of Alaska to Russia as 'they have fought long and hard for it.' 

Negotiators for Ukraine who are waiting nervously in the background have suggested the US hand over parts of New Hampshire and maybe Detroit to Russia in exchange for Moscow, which Ukraine believe they control now. 

Trump is minded to make Moscow the 51st State and hand over Poland because they didn't say thank you, apparently. Putin is understood to be bringing gifts which include gold plated shoe risers and critical medications the President hasn't been able to access since he imposed tariffs on India.