Ukraine crisis is ‘Peace Avoidance’ not 'Peace Evasion'


Taking inspiration from the shifting ethics of the British banking sector, President Putin has agreed to withdraw troops from the border provided he can deposit seized Ukrainian assets into a Swiss Bank account. In exchange for a cessation of violence, Vladimir Putin will be given a life peerage, an offshore account and a place on the board of HSBC.


Worryingly Russian expansion has been on the rise ever since they forcibly relocated Crimea to the Cayman Islands. HMRC has offered to broker a peace deal; a spokesperson said: ‘Technically it’s not an invasion, it’s a leverage buyout – which will also involve annexing Poland as a charitable trust’.

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