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UN breaks Guinness World Record for environmental pledges abandoned

In what is seen as ‘super quick time’, the industrial nations of the world have abandoned their climate commitments quicker than a Boris Johnson marriage. Even before the last COP26 nut-roast had been discarded, the UK has already committed to generating 60% of its electricity by burning effigies of Greta Thunberg.

After the conference there was an audible sonic boom, which initially was thought to be all the private jets leaving; but was in fact the pledges being broken at 800 miles per hour. What followed next, was a form of collective amnesia, where the delegates pretended that global warming was just God’s way of getting us to wear more bikinis. Said one delegate: ‘The environment, what’s that?’

Plans are already in place to abandon COP27 pledges, with the strap line ‘Burn, baby, burn!’ Asked if they planned to keep any of their promises, they promised: ‘Only the meaningless ones’.

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