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Widget-maker's reputation "will never recover from this," the nation is told

A widget-making firm which employed someone who hooked up with young people online is now "irreparably damaged" and "doomed", according to impartial industry commentators.

"I can't see how anyone will buy a single widget from this manufacturer ever again," they continued, impartially.

The commentators on this matter all run rival widget companies, and would like nothing better than to see the century-old British Widget Corporation close down.

"The government must respond to this earth-shattering scandal by immediately scrapping the Widget Licence Fee, so we can make more money," said a spokeswoman for Sky Widgets.

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