Lee Anderson – blink twice if you need help
We’re growing concerned about Lee’s welfare. It’s like a scene from Tom Brown’s schooldays or Lord of The Flies. Or maybe the first act of The Devil Wears Prada but with an oafish ex-miner instead of Anne Hathaway . . . no, that doesn’t work, and I’ve got the two images stuck together now. That’s a good w*nk ruined.
British Medical Association Rebrands HQ as Workhouse Following Staff Pay Strike
LONDON – In a move described as "refreshingly traditional," the British Medical Association has responded to its staff's strike action by installing a row of spinning jennies in the accounts department and replacing the staff canteen with a single, communal bucket of lukewarm gruel.
Trump demands Nobel Ceasefire Prize
"No one ever made a better ceasefire deal than this," bragged Trump to reporters during his one-man victory parade down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Britain's Largest Trireme Sets Off For The Med
The Ministry of Defence announced today that, despite criticism from President Trump our largest and best-equipped trireme, the HMS Jolly Matelot, would be pulling out of its home port of Hunstanton, just as soon as its Captain, Andrew Moistbottom-Wonder is available from his hectic routine of horse-riding and, well, more horse-riding.
US forces aim to rescue man stranded in remote part of Washington DC
‘We know he’s out there, and in distress,’ said Flight-Lieutenant ‘Chuck’ Waggon. ‘He went down in a flaming fireball, in a massive and catastrophic crash somewhere over Washington DC. But we believe he’s alive, and we’ll use all our efforts to get him back.’
The Trump Truth Book of Wars I Totally Would Have Won
At Custer's Last Stand, General Custer was totally surrounded. Surrounded like you'd never believe. He still could have won if he had been me - a very stable military genius. But he was a total loser and a libtard traitor for being defeated by the Sioux and he deserved to die.
Personally, I would have Sioux-ed them for all they were worth.
Walter Reed hospital asked to step up
With injured US servicemen and women on the uptick Walter Reed has had to increase its workload, but the focus on the hospital is currently centred on just one patient. 'We can confirm the President is in attendance for his weekly annual check-up, and his fortnightly one-off colouring test,' said a spokesman for Walter Reed today. 'Nothing to be concerned about, we carry out these routine checks routinely on some Presidents. This President specifically, but we had contingen
Long running Bondi character killed off
Capitol Hill Studios shocked the world today by killing off its world famous Bondi character.
Unemployed Arkansan surprised to find himself appointed Attorney General
Unemployed Arkansas man Dave Goober was surprised to see on Fox News that he’d been appointed Attorney General of the United States. ”Ah thought they must mean some other guy,” Goober told reporters, “until the motorcade turned up outside mah trailer.” A White House statement described Goober as “a great guy with strong experience, known for his attention to detail”, though Goober admitted he wasn’t sure why he’d been fired from the chicken shop where he used to work. It also
Trump gives order for Artemis II rocket to be fired at Tehran
US President Donald Trump has given the go-ahead for the Artemis II rocket to be fired at buildings in the centre of Tehran thought to be harbouring high ranking Iranian officials. Trump posted a message on Truth Social late last night denying the rocket was ever sent on a space-flight mission to orbit the moon and was actually packed with high-explosive unitary warheads aimed at levelling the Iranian capital. Astronauts on Artemis II had earlier raised concerns about a probl
