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In a controversial move, the Wimbledon tennis tournament will use virtual nets on the main courts from next year.


Wimbledon will be the first grand slam competition to use virtual tennis nets, although line calls have been computerised for some time. Wimbledon is keen to be the first to use the new technology, which, surprisingly, was developed in the UK.   A spokesman said that it was the logical next step for tennis in the twenty-first century and would make the game fairer. In a nod to tradition, a physical net will still be used for the men’s singles final.


The system has been tested exhaustively. It can survive a racket attack by Novak Djokovic, a verbal onslaught from Andy Murray and the disappointment of another Emma Raducanu collapse. Although the on-court computer will decide which shots have hit the virtual net, the umpire will continue to have the final say.


The top of the net will be indicated by a red laser light shining between the net posts, indicating where the net cord would be. The rest of the net will be simulated by white laser lights. The lasers are low power devices, and won’t harm the players much if they fall into the net.


The players’ association is debating the removal of ‘net-cord jeopardy’. Some argue that shots that are deflected by the net-cord are part of the excitement of the game. Others say it’s unfair for key points to be decided by fluke shots. And another group says that jumping a laser net at the end of the game won’t be as much fun.


The tennis authorities are keen to confirm that the new technology will have no effect on the chances of an English player winning Wimbledon, which remain at virtually zero.


image from pixabay


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A criminal whose unflattering photo appeared on Facebook alongside a news story about his latest drug-dealing offence has confirmed that yes, he did actually have a really tough paper round when he was a teenager.


Michael Doyle, 40 was given a 3 year jail term for supplying class A drugs, according to the local news story, with the general consensus in the Facebook comments being that he should do the time for his crime, but also that he had clearly been prematurely aged by the severity of a casual job he must have had delivering newspapers as a child.


‘Listen, yes, it’s true, I did have a particularly brutal paper round in 1998-1999 in the Squires Gate area of Blackpool when I was about 13 - thanks to all those who have commented and recognised this and who obviously empathise with my plight’.


‘I only delivered papers at the weekend - those broadsheet papers had about 10 different sections. Remember the Culture section in the Sunday Times in the 1990s? It weighed about a kilo on its own. Imagine lugging 20 of those around the Squires Gate area up past the pleasure beach - it was a a bloody backbreaker.’


‘Even just lifting a copy of the News of the World was a feat of strength. Those were the phone tapping and Fake Sheikh days and they took up about 30 pages every Sunday along with the usual mildly xenophobic stories’.


‘I was diagnosed with rheumatism at 30 and have had carpal tunnel problems and posture problems since my 20s. I must look about 65 in that police mug shot where I’m staring vacantly into the distance, as hundreds of people have kindly pointed out. Certainly wouldn’t use that one on my Insta profile. lol’


image from pixabay

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A woman who was wrongly accused of shoplifting due to an apparent mix-up with a facial recognition system was left "fuming" after being kicked out of three stores.


"I felt like socking it to them when they booted me out. I told them it was a load of cobblers." she said. "I was hopping mad"


The Department for Science, Innovation and Technology said: "No one should find themselves in this situation. The store really must avoid putting their foot in it like this. They need to tread carefully when using this powerful technology. If they don't they need a good boot up them. Imagine if the boot was on the other foot."


They said: "While commercial facial recognition technology is legal in the UK, its use must comply with strict data protection laws. Organisations must process biometric data fairly, lawfully and transparently, ensuring usage is necessary, proportionate and on a sound footing.  And if they don't, well, rest assured, someone should definitely take steps to fix it."


image from pixabay


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