With 262 prisoners released in error, the government has begged C4 to find them again. The new series will show understaffed prison guards leaving doors unlocked, while elite bounty hunters catch the criminals with large butterfly nets. There has been a 50% increase in accidental releases, which means no need for cakes baked with files in them. In fact, there are more criminals now living in the wild than beavers. Said one hunter: 'In theory these molestors and crooks could b

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is reported that Mr Ebenezer Scrooge, merchant of this Parish, has let it be known that Christmas this year will be much reduced in both...

'I knew Trump had ordered some modifications,' said a US government spokesman, 'but I hadn't anticipated him listing the Whitehouse for sale'.  The Rightmove listing describes the building as being 'ripe for updating' and 'suitable for a keen DIYer'.  The listing asks for offers in the region of '$20 billion' and says 'Bitcoin preferred'. 'It's suffered some structural damage in recent days,' noted an estate agent, 'but it's recently had an updated patio area.  The internal d

Following the recent lawsuits in USA & UK, a well-known brand of talcum powder has been withdrawn from chemists' shelves by teams in white overalls and breathing apparatus, following revelations that the product contains asbestos. A spokesman for the un-named company didn’t want to Talc about it, but read out a carefully powdered down statement saying that it had been mis-prescribed as 'Babies Johnson Powder'and that it was meant to be sold exclusively for Boots only. Image c

Claudia Winkleman’s fringe is to be listed and is to go on tour next year after Winkleman and her co-host Tess Daly leave Strictly Come Dancing. English Heritage confirmed that Winkleman’s fringe is being given Grade II listed status in honour of its “cultural status”. A spokesperson said: ‘Claudia Winkleman’s fringe is seen by millions of people every year. Granting it Grade II listed status saves it for the nation.’ The show’s producers said: ‘Claudia Winkleman’s fringe is

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As councils throughout the land struggle to cope with their duty to provide refuse collection services now that the majority of their...

Winner: WritinginBSL Runners-Up: "Fleeing from the searchlights and hounds, Carruthers regretted accepting His Lordship's invite to the Hunt." (TonyMc); "Fugitive spotted on the Sandringham estate."  (Dick Everyman)

A manhunt launched to catch an Ethiopian asylum seeker who escaped from prison has successfully rounded up six suspects who are nothing like him. "We were told to put the dangerous sex offender on a plane to Addis Ababa," said prison service director Derek Blunder, "but we somehow got the order muddled up and released him with £1,000 pocket money and directions to an agreeable pizza restaurant and the railway station. "We then put a dragnet over the whole of the UK to catch h

A contestant has completed a reality TV show challenge in good time with no last minute panic. Stunned viewers watched open-mouthed as Caroline Frodsham, a project manager from Stoke, completed the redecoration of a cake shop with an hour to spare and under budget. 'I simply worked back from the deadline and planned out the tasks to fit the budget,' said Ms Frodsham. 'The client initially wanted a very ambitious design, but we had a sensible and open discussion on what was

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