Tories accuse Labour of stealing their dressing up clothes

Following the release of photos of Keir Starmer wearing military fatigues, the Conservatives have accused Labour of 'sneaking in to No 10 and stealing all our dressing up clothes'. Labour have denied the accusation, pointing out that Boris Johnson burst the buttons on the government soldier outfit, forcing Rishi to resort to using an Action Man outfit found in a charity shop.

The Government remains unconvinced as they say they can't find the cowboy outfit, but it was pointed out that the Conservative Party was the cowboy outfit.

Image: Luke Ow (@luke_ow) | Unsplash Photo Community

Farage Tells Sunak To Send Santa To Rwanda

A copy of a letter from Nigel Farage to Rishi Sunak has been leaked:

Dear Rishi,

I've been very disturbed to hear that a foreigner is being allowed to drive a sleigh into our sovereign lands and abuse the sanctity of our chimneys, which were designed for boys to climb up with sweeping brushes not for fat men to climb down with toys. I would therefore like to insist that we introduce a bill that would intercept these sleighs over the North Sea and send this Santa bloke to Rwanda, while his presents would be confiscated and distributed to the children of my dear friend Boris. We will also ban any teaching about people who weren't British so unfortunately that means Xmas will be permanently canceled until Jesus comes back as an Englishman and Mary is discovered to have been a secret cockney who got lost while on a knees-up in Benidorm.

Yours,

Nige.

A copy of a letter from Farage directly to Santa has not yet come to light.

Author: satchmo76

Image: Newsbiscuit

The cook, the thief...