Boris Johnson's recent visit to Eton College has resulted in what commentators are calling an unprecedented plumbing catastrophe. In a peculiar turn of events, that has resulted in a complete close down, every toilet in the prestigious institution was found to be mysteriously clogged following the former Prime Minister's departure.
The day began with typical Etonian pomp and ceremony, as Johnson, an alumnus, was greeted with the enthusiasm reserved for old boys who had ascended to the heights of political power. However, little did the college anticipate that their esteemed guest would leave behind a legacy not in the form of inspiring speeches or generous donations, but in a series of blockages bordering on a dirty protest.
"It was like something out of a Harry Potter book, except instead of a basilisk in the pipes, it was just... well, you know," remarked one bewildered student, who preferred to remain anonymous for fear of retribution from the newly formed gang, "Boris's Bog Boys".
The incident, now cheekily referred to as 'Bog-gate' by the students, unfolded shortly after Johnson's departure. A frantic call was made to the Government plumbers, who arrived with a sense of urgency usually reserved for national emergencies. Armed with plungers they tackled the crisis head-on. Most have now been offered counselling.
Sources close to the former PM suggest that he had partaken generously in the traditional Etonian feast, a spread known for its richness. "He was quite enthusiastic about the bean stew," commented the chef, with a haunted look.
The school administration, while initially embarrassed, took the incident in stride. "Yet again, our distinguished guests leave their indelible, impactful mark on Eton," quipped the headmaster, trying to mask his disgust. "Our toilets will never be the same."
It is though the blockages will be cleared by next weekend and normalcy restored, but the legend of Boris Johnson's visit to Eton and his "largesse" is a tale that will be told for generations.
