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After tabling a bill saying that Rwanda, a country that doesn't extend fundamental Human Rights to even its own population, is a safe place for the UK to send refugees, the world's most vulnerable people, the Conservative Government is to enact a "Brexit isn't shit" law.
"A lot of people who were very vocal about Brexit before it happened have been forced to go very quiet when people even mention it, obliged to mumble something about boat migrants or Coutts bank account closures," said the new Brexit Isn't Shit Minister, François Duncan-Jacobs.
"This legislation empowers these voiceless victims of facts, enabling them to point to it and emphatically say: 'there!'". The new law will hold the distinction of being the world's shortest law, it's length designed to fall within the famous Brexiteer 3-word attention span.
A consultation on the roll-out of similar 'not shit' laws found it would significantly improve all areas of Government, especially the department of environment, which plans to end pollution of Britain's waterways with a 'shit isn't shit' law.
As anticipation mounts for Nigel Farage's appearance the hit TV show 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here', Mr Farage has, prior to his formal entrance, launched his "Jungxit" campaign.
A source close to Mr. Farage reported Nigel saying: "Whilst we may have had it all our own way in this Jungle paradise, clearly now is the time to respect Australia's borders and beat a retreat to dear old blighty." He went on, "I mean, we come over here, invade their jungles, use up their precious commodities of kangaroo testicles and wallaby spleens where we could be feasting on Badger ears and wren's livers without this senseless and grotesque emigration."
Mr. Farage also berated the cost of travel, explaining that it could have on top of his fee and then a proportion paid in taxes to the poor and unfortunate in England.
It is thought he will seek a camp referendum within the first five days of being in camp and hopes to be out of the jungle within 4 years.
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