Former Prime Ministers are fuming as they realise the charges they spent gazillions of taxpayers money defending could have been avoided by just taking a fixed penalty notice.
'WMD fracas - £100 - bish bash boom. Might have expensed it though,' suggested one former Prime Minister.
'Lying to the Queen, unlawful prorogation, hygiene risk in a fridge - I'd have donated £500 for a season ticket if I'd known. Bloody irritating I got fined for a cake,' said the previous holder of the record number of criminal offences admitted while Prime Minister.
'Violating a pig - I'd happily have paid up to £150 if I'd known,' said another. We're not sure if this refers to an actual pig or just Edwina Curry.
Image: QuinceCreative | Pixabay
Updated: Dec 16, 2021
Lionel Blair was responsible for the British decision in 2003 to invade Iraq, his younger brother Tony has announced. ‘I realise it was the most difficult decision my big brother had to make, apart from turning down a role in It ain’t Half Hot Mum’, the former Prime Minister confided.
‘Lionel and George (Bush) had formed a close relationship based on a shared interest in tap and jazz dancing and genocide,’ the New Labour veteran told a press conference. ‘I was busy working with George Brown on fiscal policy and with Una Stubbs on Give us a Clue at a difficult time when I didn’t have a clue at all.
Then Lionel came back from Washington having made the deal with George. I knew nothing about it till then. I remember it because it was the same night Una taught me how to do Three Men in a Boat with two hands, and just as I sat back exhausted the missiles landing in Baghdad came on the TV and Lionel shouted, ‘Ooh fireworks!’ which I thought was in bad taste.
