President Trump has started a new endorsement scheme that allows products to describe themselves as ‘by appointment to the President’. The scheme appears to closely follow the ‘By Royal Appointment’ scheme used by the British royal family.
The President says that he is prepared to endorse ‘all American’ products, in return for a suitable fee and a lifetime’s supply of the product. He will only endorse one product in each category, to be decided by an auction-style bidding process. He plans to use the proceeds to fund his Trump 2028 campaign.
The first endorsement will be for trainers. The President is all out of his five hundred gold dollar trainers and figures that it would be easier to take royalties from an established brand. He has insisted that the winning trainer brand should produce special edition ‘The-Donald’ trainers in his trademark shade of orange, and with the tag line Run, Donald, Run (2028).
Other products likely to receive endorsements soon include pistols, revolvers, shotguns, rifles, semi-automatic rifles, machine guns, howitzers and bazookas. The President’s office has clarified that, in view of the amount of money involved, all of these products are considered to be separate categories for the purposes of endorsement.
Products unlikely to receive an endorsement include Trump Fruitcake, Trump Crackers and Trump Nuts.
