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3rd worst prime minister ever asks 2nd worst to shag things up even more

The third worst prime minister in British history isn't wrecking the entire country quickly enough. The top option to bring in with a proven track record of completely annihilating the UK is currently unavailable as he's still trying to offload dubiously obtained gold wallpaper on Ancient Greek eBay.

The one every self disrespecting Conservative thinks is the worst prime minister in British history wasn't afforded enough time to obliterate the nation by the correct process dictated by a rotting lettuce. Therefore, technically, she can only be ranked as the fourth worst PM ever, because she wasn't around long enough to cause quite as much irrecoverable destruction.

The fifth worst prime minister in British history quit office to spend more time with Boris Johnson's children. Well, someone had to, and she is the only leader in recent years who comprehends numbers which go higher than seven. Plus she has far too much integrity for the job in vowing to take dancing lessons before returning to high office.

So it falls to the country's favourite porcine appreciator to swill into a senior Cabinet role normally reserved for an elected member of parliament. That's what back doors are for, and there are ways of silencing the squealing.

It is all perfectly above board to hastily throw Lordship spaghetti at the unelected to see what sticks. Why? Because the current prime minister is himself unelected. Not even by the dubious protocol of allowing Conservative members to select who leads the Party.

But wait, Shirley that would mean that technically he is not actually prime minister? That would be a particularly terrible situation as it would mean that the rankings of worst prime ministers would have to be rewritten. And to a lesser extent of importance, the country would have to be renamed the Former Democracy Formerly Known as the United Kingdom. Or FKUKing Hell, for short.

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