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All 18yr olds to study maths - to realise how much wages have dropped



The Government has insisted that all students need advanced numeracy to understand just how much they're being screwed over by economic policy. Explained No.10: 'It's not as simple as two plus two equals no mortgage for you. It's a complex algorithm of crisis capitalism, corporate greed and the fact that butter now costs £10 a tub.'


Remarked one confused 16-yr old: 'If inflation goes up but wages go down, how many apples am I holding?' 'None,' replied the Minister. 'You can't afford apples.' 'And if two trains are travelling at the same speed from London...' 'Let me stop you there,' interrupted the Minister. 'There are no trains, all the drivers are on strike.'


The Minister continued: 'You'll need to focus on really big numbers - particularly if you are going to calculate your level of debt'.

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