Updated: Nov 26, 2021
As momentum builds at Westminster acknowledging Boris Johnson's utter incompetence and total lack of integrity, Tory MPs are said to becoming increasingly more worried with each passing day.
One minister speaking off the record said: 'Look we all know he's a feckless narcissist, although he did do a job for us on Brexit. But now though, I'm rather afraid patience is fast running out among colleagues and something needs to be done.'
And it appears that something involves a radical change of tack for the PM. There are growing calls for Mr Johnson to start doing some actual work, with many suggesting 'work' cannot be defined as swanning around schools and factories shaking hands and looking for pointless photo opportunities up to five times a week.
The minister continued: 'We're talking about getting things done. Putting in a shift. Actually getting his hands dirty. You know, reading and not shredding briefings, then god forbid, acting on them promptly and decisively with real ideas and policies.'
However, it's unclear just how receptive Mr Johnson is to the rising clamour, as a leaked extract from his engagement diary detailing the period from now to Christmas, shows he has three Caribbean holidays paid for by benefactors scheduled, a trip to Covent Garden Opera House, something called Beckie's Dungeon, a half-completed game of hangman, two ink blots and a tomato ketchup stain.