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'Block Guardian on Twitter for constant lies,' says man who lied to you from No. 10 rose garden

A man who sat in the Downing Street rose garden and fork-tongued out a string of whoppers to the nation has declared that The Guardian newspaper must be universally blocked on Twitter for constant lies.

In fairness to Dominic Cummins, his pants didn't visibly combust until later on when the Guardian newspaper exposed his tiny deluge of small fibs of national shame.

And the multitude of other minced porkies he forced out through the Downing Street fabrication engine during his short and bovine excrement pungent time at the ministry of silly squawks. Those roses did come up lovely with all the manure, though.

Therefore his duplicity should be taken as another untruth where he actually means the opposite, and is highly likely to be a ringing endorsement for the high standards of Guardian journalism and its constant strive to provide facts in a world of dominant jerkoff.

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