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China forced to take over UK Post Office

Fake Chinese stamps have become the latest in a long line of recent Post Office successes, after the wrongful prosecutions based on software that was known to be faulty, corporate cover-up of the same and the defection of Postman Pat to the private sector.

Working in the dehumanising environs of an Amazon warehouse is now deemed a more attractive prospect, despite Running Man style electrical collars that punish workers deemed to be in the toilet or have otherwise reduced their productivity or be considering unionising.

A UK government statement said 'Posting something second class is now saying that you want the contents to be destroyed. Listen, if the Chinese Government want to start getting involved in our postal service, they're more than welcome. They touched it last. No takesy backsies.'

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