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Clairvoyant Trump: 'Orange Jumpsuit clashes with my complexion'

Posting on Lies Social, former US President and full time photonegative of a clown, Donald Trump has allegedly predicted several unusual things including his own arrest. Critics have likened him to Mystic Meg, 'but only after she'd had a couple of sherries'.

Trump has predicted that he would be arrested and also predicted there would be civil unrest as a result. However it has emerged that he took the precaution of having committed lots of crimes and deliberately fomenting his rabid, inbred base to riot.

Notably, Trump failed to predict that he would look like a satsuma whose best days were behind it.

Conservative commentator Clementine Carruthers screamed 'Prosecuting someone for crimes they've definitely committed sets a dangerous precedent, when what the US really needs is a dangerous President.'

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