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Critics astonished show about posh estate agents isn't Dr Zhivago

The nation’s TV critics have pronounced themselves shocked to their very foundations that Buying London, a show about sloaney dimwits selling expensive homes, isn’t a work of towering genius.

'Well really,' huffed the Independent’s critic. 'I came to it expecting the pathos of Chekhov, the insight of late Kieslowski and the magisterial sweep of Gabriel Garçia Marquez. Instead I find it’s some glossy airheads saying ‘Wow’ as they look around big houses. I’m so disappointed.'

'Exactly right,' agreed her colleague at the Guardian. 'I watched the whole show in a constant state of rage that rich people even exist. Actually, I couldn’t care less, but it’s a good way of auditioning for a job writing editorial content - Polly’s got to retire at some point.'

Critics were particularly savage about the constant backstabbing between two of the show’s stars, Mitzi and Ditzi, which they said was 'obviously scripted'.

'I mean, come on - two vain, ambitious glamazons being catty about each other? They must think we’ll believe anything.'

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