David Walliams announced as next Man Utd coach
Lurching from one crisis to another, the Man Utd board insisted that this time they had got their man – which was coincidently something the Metropolitan Police might have said. Walliams maybe inexperienced in terms of coaching but is an expert on grooming.
Previous appointments had been based entirely on vibes and motivational LinkedIn posts. Out of desperation Man Utd almost turned to the club mascot – as he had the highest win percentage of anyone currently employed by the club. However, they finally settled on Walliams, thanks to his ‘hands on’ approach. They said they were particularly impressed by his ability to avoid press intrusion for so long – so if he can escape from that, avoiding relegation will be a doddle. Said the Director of Football, ‘Picking an inappropriate person to be Man Utd’s next manager is very on brand. Hmmm, ‘brand’? That reminds me, do you think Russell Brand would like to be manager of the women’s team? Is he available?’
