In a turn of events everyone saw coming apart from Fox News, a multi-billionaire has backed the really corrupt billionaire side of American politics. In return he will receive full privileges, the immediate enaction of whatever whim pops into his head of a morning, and everyone else's money.
In addition, American political institutions will be stormed five times a day, and anyone looking a bit Democrat will be cancelled in the face and have their desk shat on. Including Republicans who don't communicate exclusively in short bursts of assault rifle.
In his defence, Twitter's fact check team confirmed that the former social media platform is now powered entirely by Elon Musk furiously wanking off to Fabergé Eggs being fed through wood chippers.
Trump turd trufflers added, 'The creatures outside looked from rampage instigator to Twitter destroyer, and from dildo rocketeer to pussy grabber again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.'