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Exhausted Boris Johnson plans short holiday in his office

An exhausted Boris Johnson is planning to spend a few days holidaying in his Downing Street office, to get some badly needed work-time and recover from the endless cycle of government parties over the past two years.

Johnson has been pictured recently, looking drawn and haggard, covered in paper streamers, slumped on a bean bag, holding a plastic cup full of red wine and a half-smoked cigarette.

A source said that the Prime Minister needs a short working break to recover from the gruelling schedule of food-fights, arse-photocopying and emergency danceathons that he has been subjected too as part of his Covid response work over the last two years.

"A few days relaxing and reading the papers in his private Downing Street office will help the Prime Minister recharge his batteries so that he can get back to the important job of putting on a pair of fake plastic tits and squirting cream all over them while shouting, "look at me boys, I'm Doris Johnson".

The source indicated that Mr. Johnson will also be taking up swimming, but what in, they didn't want to say.


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