In what Conservatives are calling 'Target Removal Week', all archery targets, dartboards and football goalposts have been abolished. However, darts enthusiasts have been assured that the bull will still remain.
Downing Street spokes-slime, Jemima Hoathe explained, 'Targets this government pledged it would hit were impossible to miss. The missing of those targets points to the only rational explanation that the targets are to blame.
'The suggestion that we don't give a squirrel squit and never even had the slightest intent of aiming for them is beside the point. Targets are clearly dangerous.
'It makes perfect sense to get rid of anything which makes you look foolish and which might embarrass you, so the government has acted decisively to abolish anything which might be considered a target. This is a perfectly sensible decision, and absolutely the right thing to do. It's what the people of Britain want.'
The government has been accused of setting very low standards and consistently failing to achieve them. In response to the accusation, next week will be 'Improvement Avoidance Week', during which high jump bars will be made illegal, even if they are just a few inches off the ground. Limbo dancing apparatus will be replaced with red tape.
Hat tip to deskpilot
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