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IMF 'bunch of bellends' or 'absolutely brilliant' depending if we need to borrow money

This week, the government is focusing its mixed messaging and contradictory positions on the International Monetary Fund.

'How dare they criticise our incompetence', said someone doing a terrible impression of a Chancellor. 'Yes, the pound has collapsed and the country's heading for a slump, but they shouldn't point that out. Having said that, we really love the way they loan money to countries that have destroyed their own economies. Not that we've done that, and if we did it's definitely Gordon Brown's fault.'

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Stonehenge returned to bronze age

Although it is unclear what the fault is, a Neolithic circle known as Stonehenge has been returned to the Bronze Age. This leaves the only remaining ancient artefact in our time which is five thousand


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