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Internet to finally get Ceefax

Although it's nearly twenty years since the Isle of Wight 'got' Ceefax, it has taken until now for the internet to catch up.

'The blocky text, images that make Minecraft look sophisticated, pointless so-called bargains for holidays in places that don't exist, using airlines that ceased trading years ago all proved to be a challenge too far for the fledgling internet,' said an IT expert today. 'Using neural networks, parallel processing, quantum chips and pure guesswork we've managed to port Ceefax from the TV realm to online. Believe me, this is going to be big,' he added. 'Big, and very blocky.'

Supporters of the new service point out its obvious benefits. Social media nobody can interact with, let alone abuse others on, porn images so blocky you wouldn't mind kids accessing it, news items so basic the government can't put a meaningful spin on it.

'It's that good I can see bins filling up with Apple iPhones,' said the expert, 'and the long overdue return of the Nokia 3310. As long as Ceefax can handle snake,' he added.

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