Khamanei’s son ditches playboy lifestyle to become Ayatollah
- eppursimuove
- 1 hour ago
- 1 min read
Following his father's death, Mojtaba Khamenei - Mojito to his friends - has been forced to abandon his playboy lifestyle to become the new Ayatollah and Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran.
”I guess I always knew it couldn’t go on forever,” he said ruefully, speaking on Zoom to a reporter from Condé Nast Traveller from his penthouse in the Palm Jumeirah. “Only last week I was doing lines of coke off a hooker’s ass along with Don Trump junior, Netanyahu’s son and some tech bros I met on a certain Caribbean island. But even then I was wondering whether it might not be time to settle down, let the old beard grow out a bit, get a nice place in the country etc.
”Or, as it turns out, become the supreme leader of a theocratic fascist state that beats women to death for not covering their heads in public. Funny how life works out, eh?”
Asked whether his former lifestyle might not be a problem with Iran’s more conservative clerics, Khamenei winked and said “What happens in Dubai stays in Dubai, am I right?
A spokesman for Khamenei said he should be able to move back to Iran in a week or two, to give him time to settle a few casino debts, sell the Lambos and get every lap dancer in town to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
”Put it this way - he’ll be there before any British warships arrive in Cyprus.”
