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Most of remaining government time to be spent apologising

The government has set out a timetable for it's business leading up to a general election in 2024 and and the vast majority of the days are allocated to apologies.

A newly set-up Department of Contrition has published several white papers, which it hopes will cover most of the major calamities visited on the country in the last 12 years.

"Grenfell is the start.", said a grim faced spokesman. "We've managed to find a few spare days when Mr Johnson isn't on holiday to make a start on what we expect to be long process of regret. Liz Truss is believed to have cleared her diary for the next 18 months."

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