Nation realises it was groomed to enjoy Little Britain
A sadder, wiser nation has risen this morning to realise that whilst it thought it had loved the Noughties sketch show Little Britain, it had in fact been a victim of grooming.
“There were trailers on TV telling you it was going to be on later, pieces about the stars in the papers - all the classic signs were there,” said repentant fan Simon Clunge.
”Worst of all, people were constantly repeating the show’s catchphrases - computer says no, the only gay in the village, yeah but no but yeah, and so on. And where are those people now, eh? The enablers? Their silence is deafening, frankly.”
”I for one am glad it’s been removed from the iPlayer, though in recent years each episode was only about seven minutes long, with the amount they’d had to take out… not that I watched them myself, obviously, but I think someone told me that… someone I don’t speak to any more, of course…”
In fact, even as he spoke, people were losing their jobs over ancient social media posts in which they used the show’s catchphrases, or even admitted to liking it. They were then rounded up in the public square, pelted with rotten fruit and subjected to re-education sessions.
Surprised to find himself rounded up was Simon Clunge, who insisted he only repeated the catchphrases so we’d know what he was talking about, not in a spirit of admiration. This defence, however, was not accepted, and he was sent to do 10 years hard labour until he learned that punching down like that was simply not acceptable.
His last words as he was dragged off were “At least I didn’t say Jehovah.”
