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NHS strikes ‘caused by applause going to their heads’

NHS workers were “encouraged” to strike for more pay after a grateful nation “unwisely” applauded them every Thursday during the pandemic, according to a government spokesman.

‘It’s like with actors,’ said the spokesman. ‘People lionise them and then they won’t get out of bed for less than ten grand. It was a mistake to bang saucepans and applaud these people. They need keeping in their place’.

The Conservative Party will launch its new campaign slogan “Keeping Britain in its Place” next week, which will highlight the importance of only applauding company directors.

‘Everything we have – the food in your belly, the clothes on your back, that rather grubby car – comes from wealthier people - better people - letting it trickle down. We want everybody to stand on their doorsteps every Thursday and applaud the people who really make Britain great,' said the spokesman. 'And then get back to work.'

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