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NHS to trial Gaza's no water/electricity model

The Health Minister suggested that this could lead the way to other cost-cutting moves, such as removing floors and walls from all hospitals, a policy the IDF is only to happy to help with. They lauded Palestine's success at reducing waiting lists to zero, helped by the fact that everyone is dead.

'Lighting is a luxury and only highlights the lack of staff. And given that we are also cutting out medicine, you won't need water to wash down the pills.'

Originally euthanasia was to be outsourced to the private sector but, once more, the IDF is happy to step in. The Minister boasted: 'We also have an ambitious building programme for the NHS, provided we can persuade Hamas to dig the tunnels.'

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