Nigel’s girlfriend to launch ‘Elite Waitressing’ blog?
- Sully
- Sep 29
- 1 min read
Laure Ferrari is an unlikely feminist heroine, given that she’s shacked up with a leatherette man-frog, but her ability to afford a £900k house on waitressing tips has propelled her to elite status in the waitressing community.
Now pundits (i.e. people with an internet connection but no real job) are predicting that she may soon launch a blog for other waitresses who want to buy a big house and kiss a frog.
‘She’s living an almost fairytale life’, somebody told NewsBiscuit. ‘Okay, the amphibian hasn’t turned into a handsome prince, but that house is practically a castle and at least he isn’t around much. Can you imagine having that looming over you, thrusting and grunting and exhaling beer and tobacco fumes? Gross’.
Other imaginary people we didn’t really interview said they’d ‘rather live in a septic tank than have to receive the Honourable Member’s honourable member, but well done Laure for somehow saving enough to buy a house for almost £900k cash’.
The mystery of how she came by so much cash is only eclipsed by the mystery of Nigel Farage managing to seduce an actual human. Much as Laure has given hope to Strasbourg waitresses, Nigel’s story is an inspiration to the incel community – especially the smelly unlovable ones.
Image: Couleur - Pixabay
