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President A.I.Den

As time goes on, President Biden's list of gaffes grows ever-larger. His most recent, which was ending a speech with ‘God Save The Queen’ – several months after the death of Queen Elizabeth II, has forced the American government to make a shocking admission. The current President of the United States of America is a robot powered by Artificial Intelligence.

The world’s media was invited to a Whitehouse press conference where Secretary for Future Logistics, Joseph Cagefighter explained: ‘The Democrat Party needed someone that could win the election. Joe Biden was their guy but he didn’t want to play ball – he had his own ideas of what to do and this didn’t sit well with the other Democrats. So they shipped him off to the Alaskan outback – somewhere he’d always wanted to visit, by the way.

‘They then hired the best A.I. geniuses to write a program that replicates Biden’s personality. And had that installed into a robot skeleton that was donated to us from the car manufacturer, Honda. Next was the production of the rubber skin-like material, donated to us by a studio in Hollywood, and we were in business.

‘Unfortunately, the battery isn’t powerful enough to run the robotic body and the A.I. brain at the same time, which is why he occasionally seems a little slow and sometimes forgets to move his legs when walking. Not to mention the occasional vocal gaffe. He was right though – more than half the women in his administration are women’

I managed to speak with Mr Cagefighter after the conference, ‘How long did you plan to keep this a secret?’ I asked

‘To be completely honest, I’m absolutely shocked that nobody worked it out for themselves. I mean, if you do a search online for “Asimo robot running” it’s right there. Okay, it’s a little faster than our president, but like I said, that’s because of the shared battery powering his body and his brain,'

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