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Prigozhin advised to try using the A303 next time

Yevgeny Prigozhin, Commander of the armies to the South and new This Morning presenter, has been told that the A303 is a much more scenic route.

'Taking the M4 this time of year is your classic mistake,' said self appointed adviser, uncle Clive, at a Guildford barbecue over the weekend. 'He should have taken the A31 to Bentley, cut across through the back lanes past Lasham Airfield, and hooked up with the A303 just south of Basingstoke. Putin would never have seen him coming.

'You can't beat that awesome moment when you pop up over the hill outside Amesbury and see the full glory of Stonehenge for the first time, right there so close to your good old 303.

'I know it's not the done thing, especially with such a big caravan in tow, but as long as he doesn't phone ahead, he could nip down the A360 and surprise Putin at his secret base in Salisbury.'

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