Her Majesty the Queen is reported to be "wetting herself with laughter" on her flight to Barbados after she notified alleged prime-minister, Boris Johnson, that she would grant him an audience in Balmoral.
A source on the plane with Her Majesty tried to keep a straight face as he reported the plan; "She told him she'd meet him in 'Albert's Folly' - that's three hours trek up Lochnagar, when he gets there he'll find a note saying Her Majesty has gone to Tamarisk on the Isles of Scilly and she'd meet him there in 2 hours. That'll teach him not to tell porkies to the Queen."