Sheriff J.W. Pepper named as next Met Police Chief

The world of policing has been turned upside down and the people of London will sleep much safer in their beds after the announcement of Sir Mark Rowley's replacement as Head of the Metropolitan Police.

"Sheriff J.W. Pepper is not everyone's first choice," said a spokesperson for the Mayor of London, Sir Sadiq Kahn. "But we feel that he has the skills, experience and know-how to make London safe once more."

Coming from small town Louisiana, Sheriff Pepper doesn't have a proven track record combatting inner-city crime, gangs and anti-social behaviour, but his experience of helping MI6 bring to justice moonshiners, car thieves, alligators, Dr Kananga and Francisco Scaramanga, will more than make up for it.

Speaking to our reporter, J. W. said he was looking forward to the challenge and added, ""By the powers invested in me by Sir Sadiq Khan, I hereby do commandeer this black cab, and all the goddam limeys within, to help fight crime. And that means you, smart ass."

Image: Grok

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