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Starmer declares his muesli is 'broken'

New Prime Minister Keir Starmer has warned his family that their breakfast is 'broken', and fixing it 'won't be an overnight job'.


"The Tories didn't buy any cornflakes and despite it's patriotic appeal, a full English takes too long and it's unhealthy. We'll have to tighten our belts" the stern-faced Labour leader announced to his weary wife and children.


"Give us a break" muttered Rachel Starmer to herself. "If he wants affordable health, he just needs to soak some muesli in orange juice, it literally IS an overnight job."




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