Stiff response to penis injection scandal

Comedy writers around the world have lodged a formal complaint with the International Olympic Committee comedy(IOC) over stories about hyaluronic acid allegedly being injected into ski jumpers’ penises to give them extra elevation.

“How are we meant to compete with that?” said a spokesmirthson. “That is already funny. You can’t add anything to it. It’s not fair. We’re just trying to do our job here.”

Hyaluronic acid is a common filler used in cosmetic surgery, including injections being used for penile girth enlargement surgery. Stop tittering at the back there. Before the start of the season ski jumpers are measured for their suit. A larger penis at the time of measuring would mean a fractionally larger ski suit which could potentially mean greater lift.

There are rumours that a member of the Austrian team who took double the recommended dose of the acid has still not come down. Meanwhile, it has emerged the acid was also used in the creation of the giant heads of Verdi, Rossini and Puccini at the opening ceremony.

The dose led to their lower appendages falling off backstage, killing one of hundreds of volunteers in the first known case of ‘penicide’.

image form pixabay

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