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Team Liz delighted as Truss masters her two times table

Members of Liz Truss’s team are said to be delighted with the progress she’s making on the reception class mathematics book they bought her last week.

One high profile but low competence cabinet minister who’s part of the team said: ‘We’re delighted with Liz’s progress. She’s currently got her two times table buttoned up and after she passes her little exam tomorrow she’s pressing ahead with the threes. Given a bit of luck and cramming she may be up to twelve by September. Everyone’s very excited.’

Another backer commented, ‘Liz’s work ethic on this is very impressive. Last night she told us all that "knowing sums, counting ups and takey aways" will be vital to help face the current economic shambles and imminent catastrophic recession her party's previous bungling leader has plunged the country into.”

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