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Trump’s 50 state crime strategy

Republican voters love 'law' and 'order' and therefore Donald Trump's polling goes up when he is charged with yet another crime that he is obviously guilty of. This makes Trump’s most likely path to the White House a crime spree encompassing all 50 states.

One Trump advisor said ‘Good wholesome American crime, like suppressing black voters, or shooting black teenagers in the back or hiring hookers and paying for their silence or being urinated on by those hookers and then paying for their silence. Or election fraud.’

Less electorally important states will get less exciting crimes, but no-one appears sure what Trump might do in big swing states like Pennsylvania or a huge state like California.

The advisor winked and said ‘I’m not saying it involves a live donkey, but I'm not not saying that either.’

'White House or the jail house, baby!'

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Despite having one of the highest crime rates in the UK, more unemployment than most constituencies, longer waiting lists for the NHS than practically anywhere the good people of Clacton have responde

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Jul 31, 2023

California? With a bear. Must be.

Pennsylvania? Woods? More bears!

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