Trump signs up fellow warmongers to the Bored of Peace
- Jeremynh
- 21 minutes ago
- 1 min read
"I've made a billion dollars off the backs of everyone around me, I've conquered Greenbackland for America, and I am the proud holder of someone else's Nobel Prize," gloated Trump.
"But I'm not a great war leader yet, and I deserve to be," he said, watching his minions beat ploughshares into swords and fuel up 500 Minuteman nuclear missiles.
"That why I'm going to start World War Three right away, alongside everyone else in my great new Bored of Peace group.
"I've got some truly bloodthirsty guys signed up already, who all think the past 80 years of peace have been crashingly dull. They're my fellow tyrants in Russia, Saudi Arabia and Belarus.
"For some reason, all the snowflake liberal democracies of Europe don't want to join. But Putin, Lukashenko, MBS and I can't wait to send millions of kids to their deaths from our reviewing stands and then award ourselves a whole load of bogus medals. The only question is who we're going to pick on.
"I wish I could be going with you," lied Trump, addressing terrified conscripts over the radio from the safety of a nuclear bunker.
"But I can't, because I've got these pesky bone spurs in my chicken feet and my tummy's feeling very yellow."
Image: ralfskysegel - Pixabay
