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Water companies urge people to piss more frequently so they can have their water back

With hosepipe bans coming into force to conserve water stocks in drought areas, water companies have been in the news reminding people that paying their water bills doesn't give them the right own the water. In times of drought, water companies will fail to make a profit if they don't have water to loan, so they are asking people to piss more frequently, to return the water companies' water back to them, before they run out and their shareholders kick up a fuss over reduced dividends.

The companies are currently considering a proposal to introduce chemicals into the water supply which will have the effect of date stamping the water they loan in a similar way that library books were stamped and enable water companies to fine customers for late returns.


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