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Water company shareholders demand more waterborne disease outbreaks

'Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

Or it's diarrhoea in the toilet, vomit in the sink'

That's the message from water company CEOs and shareholders, who have reacted furiously to the notion of spending any money on critical infrastructure.

'Trying to cut our dividends for "reasons of public health" is almost as disgusting as the putrid "water" coming out of this tap.' dry heaved one, very ill shareholder, voiding his already empty bowels. 

A well hydrated water company CEO floated past on a lilo: 'Imagine an industry where the product literally falls from the sky in vast quantities and yet it still requires massive taxpayer bailouts and it also poisons people. Dividends and senior executive bonuses are up though.'

'Water supply is a tremendous financial opportunity. It's not like people need water to live. Champagne?' 

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