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Zelensky welcomes minute's silence, but really wants claps

President Zelensky has shown deep appreciation that the UK has observed a minute's silence to mark the sacrifices made by Ukraine, but notes that not only did the British public observe multiple minute's silences during the pandemic, mainly due to jaws dragging on the pavement, but within three months they had stood on doorsteps every Thursday clapping.

'Tanks, missiles and training are all very well, but what our troops really need are millions of British people clapping on the doorsteps every Thursday. I spoke with Boris and he reckoned it kept the virus at bay - or did he say the pay award, he was speaking very fast. Anyway, he said a good old dose of British clap was what the Ukrainian army really needs, and he insists he's ready to lead the way.'

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